By Erin Vig
I remember planning our wedding. I remember how important it was that the flowers were that ‘perfect’ shade of dusty rose, so as to match my ‘perfect’ bridesmaid dresses…all seven of them. I remember being immensely disappointed that the beige rental tuxedos didn’t exactly match the beige in the flower print cover- up for the bridesmaids. I remember how important it was to have the cake topper couple match the image on the front of our invitations. All those little details that I stressed about and all the time, energy, and money that was expended for that one day. That one-day that I thought was to be the most important day of my life.
Today I hide the pictures of my ‘perfect’ wedding because frankly… dusty rose?! What was I thinking? Let’s just say that my eighteen-year-old ‘sense of style’ was a bit suspect, but then it was 1980 so I’m sure that ‘the style’ of that decade has made us all wince when reviewing our 80’s photos! I just happened to make sure that my 1980’s style would be forever etched into my ‘significant moments’ photo album.
Thirty-five years later, I see exactly what that wedding day was and it really wasn’t such a milestone. It was actually just a day to be the leading lady in an elaborate production. The years since have really been my show and there have been so many moments key to defining who I am as a person and demonstrating exactly what is important.
At the risk of sounding cynical, the entire concept of elaborate perfect/inspired/stylish weddings has been programmed into us and are nourished by a need to be special and unique. I say, be unique and have a quick, easy, stress free wedding and use that cash to go on an amazing and memorable trip! If you’re one of those ‘practical’ people, put a down payment on a house (or BUY a quaint little one here) or better yet…help to build a school for a village? There you go…how many people do you know who have assisted in building a school? There is a unique legacy!
Yes, it’s an important day and worthy of celebrating with our friends and family but the money, time, energy and stress involved in executing a grand show can be used for the part that matters … the rest of your life!
Hey, don’t get me wrong; I’m all for love and marriage and happily-ever-after but the important stuff comes after the wedding. The average annual salary of a 25-30 year old would be so much more beneficial in the pocket of the happy couple rather than dispersed to the over-inflated 60-billion-dollar-a- year wedding industry.
I love brides and grooms and the idea of romance, but realistically, I’m just not sure what else can be done at a wedding to make it more memorable or unique so as to stand out in the minds of the guests. Perhaps after over half a century on this earth and bearing witness to many weddings I have realized that trying to have the ‘perfect’ wedding is more trouble than what it is worth. As with so many other things in my life, I wish I knew then what I know now. I don’t think any one of my 200 guests can recall anything about our wedding and I guarantee that no one remembers that the cake topper didn’t match the invitations.