By Kary Vannice
“Modern love” – can you even engage in it without a username and password? Hardly. In today’s world, love, the finding of romance, and even love’s tragic end are all largely taking place via digital devices, text messages, and even emojis.
Swiping and Mental Health
Platforms like Tinder, Bumble, and Match are fundamentally changing the way people meet, connect, and fall in love. Current tallies estimate that over 360 million people use online dating apps. While these apps provide opportunities to connect with potential partners, reducing relationships to “swipes” and expressing affection through emojis is taking its toll on our mental health.
According to the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, there is a direct link between using dating apps and experiencing loneliness, dissatisfaction with life, and a feeling of exclusion from the world.
The simplicity of swiping right desensitizes us to genuine connection and leads to a perception that relationships can be easily attained, but easily discarded as well.
Psychotherapist Denise Dunne pointed to the problems in her interview with TRMW Magazine, an online, multi-platform culture site. She said, “These apps are designed around appearances, non-emotional online communication, and they are mostly about ubiquity and endless promise.”
Statistics show that digital dating contributes to increased anxiety, self-esteem issues, and a heightened fear of rejection. Online daters now have have to contend with catfishing (being played by a fake online profile), harrassment, and the commodification of relationships.
The ease of creating curated profiles and posting filtered or fake photos leads to questions about authenticity and trust. There’s even a new AI software called LoveGPT that, while designed to help shy and unpracticed online daters “enhance” their romantic communication, is now being used by scammers to create false online profiles and produce instantaneous flirtatious and enticing responses to naïve potential victims.
Relationships: Authentic vs. Disposable
Love and romance have always been the two best proving grounds for emotional acuity and resilience. But it takes trust to be vulnerable and authentic, which requires deeper emotional connection than some digital media offer. Reducing the initial stages of a relationship to a swipe right reduces relationship expectations. Many online daters become accustomed to quick digital interactions and can find transitioning to deeper, in-person connections challenging.
The casual and disposable way most dating apps approach matchmaking often presents potential partners as a simple set of statistics to be tallied rather than a whole human being with hopes, desires and emotional needs. It reduces people to 2D images, lists of likes and dislikes, and anyone within a 40-mile radius rather than as complex emotional beings seeking love and connection.
Online dating allows, and almost invites, daters to treat connection and romance like online shopping, browsing through “merchandise,” and selecting commodities to try out at home. Interactions become transactional rather than meaningful, often leading to a lingering sense of emptiness and deep sense of hopelessness. As an article on Medium, an online site that presents human stories and ideas, put it, “Dating apps are educating a whole generation to relate to love like an Uber.”
Indeed, young people are most at risk of suffering from mental health issues around online dating, and it’s also becoming apparent that this approach to finding love is weakening their emotional resilience and ability to create lasting relationships.
Studies also show that the emphasis on quick judgments and lack of face-to-face interactions hinders the development of empathy. Without empathy, it becomes challenging to develop meaningful emotional connections that are vital to intimacy and healthy relationships.
And, with so many casual encounters so readily available, it’s easy to prioritize short-term gratification over the effort and investment required for longer-term commitment. This shift in mindset not only hinders personal growth and emotional fulfillment but also undermines the stability and strength of lasting partnerships.
Despite this dark side of digital dating, Statistica, the online data analysis and forecasting platform, states, “Online dating has grown in popularity in recent years, and this trend is projected to continue. By 2027, it is estimated that there will be 440 million people seeking love through online platforms.”
Given that this trend shows no signs of slowing down, and app developers are unlikely to address these issues, ultimately, it’s up to users to change their approach to dating by prioritizing meaningful connections, viewing potential partners as real human beings rather than commodities, and fostering lasting love rather than fleeting encounters.