By Audrey Jacobs—

Thirty years ago I came to San Miguel on my honeymoon. I fell in love with the city and remember thinking, “One day I’m coming back to live here.”

Life had other plans. I stayed in San Diego, raised three sons, built a career, got divorced, and forgot I had the freedom to live anywhere.

Then last year, at 55, an uncomfortable romantic relationship reminded me that life’s too short, so I bought a one-way ticket to return to San Miguel.

I definitely didn’t move here to start a singles organization. I was simply looking for my next chapter. What I found first was loneliness.

I worked remotely, usually from home or a café, and almost every night I made myself go out. Through TEDx and the Jewish community I met wonderful people right away. Daily there were concerts, lectures, art openings, dinner parties and hikes.

Still, I’d come home to an empty house and feel… empty. I wanted a romantic partner, but I also wanted my people. It felt like freshman year of college. You’re friendly with everyone but connected to very few.

When it came to dating, everyone had advice.
One woman proudly told me, “My Mexican boyfriend is 20 years younger. He adores me. I pay for everything and I don’t mind. You need to find yourself a hot young Mexican.” Good on her.

Then I kept hearing immigrant women say the same thing. “There are no good men in San Miguel.” They’re wrong. Maybe not as many as women, but they’re here. And I kept meeting them.

Once I decided I was ready to date, within two months I met four men I liked. The best one became my friend first. A handsome Mexican man, we met at ecstatic dance and spent almost every day together walking, talking, laughing and exploring San Miguel with no pressure. Even if nothing romantic had happened, I would’ve been grateful to have a companion. Then one evening his usual kiss on the cheek landed on my lips. Today, six months later, we’re happily together.

“The more people I meet, the more I realize finding love isn’t a dating problem. It’s a connection problem.”

I’ve met people who just buried a spouse after 50 years of marriage. People recovering from divorce. People who have never married. People who don’t want a relationship right now. They want someone to have dinner with, hear music with, travel with or call on a bad day. They want to find their people.

Then a photo memory from my old singles dinner parties in San Diego popped up on my phone. On June 3, I posted a simple question in a San Miguel Facebook group.

“Looking for love?”
Six hundred likes, hundreds of comments, and more than 500 private messages later, I knew I’d hit a nerve.

Two months later, more than 350 people have joined Love in San Miguel | Amor en San Miguel. Fifty-five percent are native Spanish speakers. Our community ranges in age from 25 to 85. From day one, I wanted our group to be bilingual and bi-cultural because loneliness is universal.

I’ve been a matchmaker for over 30 years, but before our first event on July 7, I was terrified. Would anyone come? Would people talk to each other? Would they leave thinking, “Well… that was awkward?”

Instead, 60 people showed up with another 200 on the waitlist.
Before anyone sat down, we handed every guest a “connection card” and asked them to find a stranger. “What have you always wanted to learn?” “What are you passionate about?” “What are you looking forward to?” Within minutes the room buzzed. English and Spanish mixed together. Mexicans and immigrants. People in their 30s talking with people in their 70s. It was exactly what I’d hoped for.

Then came dinner, and with it, the stories. One woman had just ended a 34-year marriage. Another drove 90 minutes because he didn’t know where else to meet thoughtful people.
Again and again I heard the same thing. “I just want a safe place to meet good people.”

I’m building Love in San Miguel in real time with my amazing bicultural partner, Araceli Kopiloff. Originally from Uruguay, Araceli has called Mexico home for many years. We learn from every event and our community helps us shape what comes next.

There will be curated matchmaking dinners, outdoor adventures, volunteer projects, workshops, speakers, and many experiences for people to find their people.

We don’t have it all figured out yet, but we’re enjoying the crazy creation phase. It means we’re listening instead of assuming what everyone wants.

Here’s what I didn’t expect. Married couples keep asking to join. They aren’t looking for romance, but they’re lonely too. They want couple friends, dinner friends, people to travel with.

For now, we’re staying focused on singles, but it reminded me that loneliness doesn’t disappear just because you found a spouse. I can’t promise anyone they’ll find the love of their life. Nobody can.

But I can design carefully crafted experiences where strangers become friends, and maybe some of those friendships become love. San Miguel is too magical to love alone.

Interested? Love in San Miguel | Amor en San Miguel
http://www.loveinsanmiguel.com

Audrey Jacobs is the founder and chief matchmaker of Love in San Miguel | Amor en San Miguel. She is a TEDx speaker whose talk has been viewed nearly 200,000 times. Audrey lives in San Miguel de Allende and believes the city is too magical to love alone.

Photography by Armando Espinoza